Ella, Special needs parenting

A glimpse into an average afternoon, with Poo

Of course it’s a day when Joel was home late, and everything went wrong..

Ella has been ‘toilet training’ for a couple of years now.  We started tentatively, just getting used to the seat. Screenshot_20180419-145305It didn’t go so well… 😂  But over time we worked our way to sitting with pants on, then pants off.  The journey has been a long and fruitless one, but with the schools support at the start of first  term this year we decided to go at it hardcore. No nappies during the day at all, and hourly (or more) trips to sit on the toilet and hope to christ we get lucky.

It’s been an interesting ride to say the least, with a ton of washing and not much result. Which brings me to the bag of poo.1524204534233

I’ve mentioned in past posts that Ella has problems with her bowels as part of cri du chat. Well sometimes she’ll go 10 days without pooping, and sometimes she’ll poop 10 times in a day.  She’s on daily laxatives and stool softeners.  But its still never not quite right. Its constantly tracking when she’s had a bowel movement and upping the laxatives when she hasn’t.  Since toilet training  she is yet to poo on the toilet…  even once.

Which brings me to yesterday. Of course it was a day Joel was home late, and everything went wrong.

As Ella got off the bus I could see it already. The dreaded plastic bag of clothes tied to her back back. From afar I could already tell it was double bagged, ugh, it was a poo day! Snapchat-286342316.jpg
I had walked to pick Ella up that afternoon, so we meandered slowly home. When Ella walks there’s not much choice but to enjoy the scenery, picking up random twigs or handfuls of sand to take home for the sand pit. The bag of poop clothes tucked safely under the pram.

I told myself, don’t forget the bag of poo!

I had forgotten before and once it sits in her clothes in the bag for awhile, the smell is impossible to get out! As it is I have to rinse with vinegar and dettol, before hand washing in detergent, rinsing and hanging in the sun. Otherwise the smell gets into all the clothes, and it’s really hard to get the smell out of the washing machine!  It might seem over the top to some, but no way am I going to have the smelly kid!

We arrive home, I snip the handles of the plastic bag off the backpack, making sure the knots are still tied and chuck it in the sink without opening it, I can’t deal with it right away. I have to take Ella to sit on the toilet, she’s already in a mood about having to take her shoes off, then Reece is due for a feed, and I still need to unpack Ella’s lunch, which usually consists of mashed up banana skins and spilled jelly through the bag, and wash her lunch bag.

IMG_20180421_125958I’ll do it after that, I won’t forget! I shit you not, (pun intended) I even put it on my to do list that’s permanently up.

I get Ella toileted and Reece fed. I start to unpack her bag, which is inexplicably full of sand, 🤷‍♀️then the 2 girls from next door rock up to play. There’s one Ella’s age and one younger. I mentally take note if there’s any wine in the house, because it’s definitely going to be one of those afternoons.
Since there’s now 4 kids to watch I have to stay in the kitchen to keep an eye on them, Ella still needs close supervision with others because she can be a bit full on.
So I clean the sand out of Ella’s bag into the kitchen bin, wash her lunch bag and make her lunch for the next day. Then get started on Ella’s dinner, stopping to save one of the kids from a chook, and get Reece up from his nap and change him.
I’ve really gotta get the damn poo out of these damn clothes!

Meanwhile Ella has had an accident so I send the other girls home, change her clothes, and by this stage Reece and Ella are both hungry.
I take Ella to the toilet again and then watch Ella eat her dinner, while I feed Reece. She still chokes on food quite often, so I can’t leave.
I leave the poo for later. I won’t forget!

After dinner I leave the dog to clean up the mess under the table, (#lifehack – judge me) and put Reece in his sling. Side note – baby wearing was always something I hated, but it sure has been a lifesaver for Reece since Ella is still So hands on!
I take Ella to have her shower. I still have to help her get undressed and turn the water on etc. I wash her, then leave her to practice washing herself while I get her pjs ready. Next minute I hear her scream!
I race back into the bathroom and she’s turned the tap to cold, she’s just standing under the now freezing water just screaming! She’s never touched the tap before, and I mentally take note. No more unsupervised time in the shower 😭 I turn it to warm and notice she’s also got bodywash all through her hair!  I tell her we need to rince her hair but of course she doesn’t want to listen or stay in there after the cold water so I struggle to get as much soap out of her hair as I can and quick as I can, thinking how horrible her hair is going to be to brush later, and then get her out and dried off. We then sit on the toilet one last time before bed.

I leave her in the towel for literally a few seconds while I put Reece on his mat for floor time, Then I go to get Ella dressed. And of course she’s done a wee all over her towel and bed!
I strip the bed thinking it’s the afternoon from hell! I look at the clock, wondering if it’s time for a drink and where the hell Joel is, I’m frazzled and completely over it –  But I can’t forget that bag of poo!

I get Ella dressed and ready for bed, then put fresh sheets on her bed.  Finally Joel strolls in. He asks what the smell in the laundry is and if I’ve planned dinner. I kill him slowly and painfully (in my head, in reality he took one look at my face a slunk off to have a shower) then I get on with it.

Ella is ready for bed, now it’s Reece’s turn for a bath. Ella is quite happy to shadow me for this, doing really helpful things like bringing all her soft toys into the bathroom to watch, while Joel makes us something for dinner.
Again mentally I remind myself about the bag of poo.
Reece is bathed and hanging with Joel, and I read Ella her bedtime book and get her to sleep.

Then I eat dinner one handed, again, while giving Reece his last feed of the night. Joel gets me a wine, making me glad I didn’t kill him earlier, and finally I let myself relax. I put Reece to bed, Joel and I have some time together, and I go to bed.

As I lay awake, giving myself the usual run down of the day, and taking a mental note of what I need to do tomorrow and any appointments this week, and I suddenly realize…

I forgot the fucking bag of poo 😫

1 thought on “A glimpse into an average afternoon, with Poo”

  1. I don’t have a special needs child but I can certainly empathize with you on this post! I have two kids only 14 months apart (4mo and 18mo). So many times things like this get missed in my house too no matter how many times I remind myself! And my hubby has been mentally slaughtered at least seventy times! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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