Special needs parenting

What I’ve learned from my special needs child.

It seems that I only ever write after a shitty day, as a way to process my thoughts, and as a result my posts have been negative lately! 😪 Well..  today has been a good day, it’s been a good week even, and I’m in a good mood, so here’s some of that inspirational crap people seem to love!! 😁

Having a special needs child has been a journey unlike anything I could have imagined, there’s Been the lowest of lows, but also the highest of highs.  Ultimately Ella has taught me so much, and having the honour of being her mum has been so rewarding.  Here’s what she’s taught me.

  • STRENGTH. Not only my own, although it’s definitely made me stronger, and more outspoken but I’m amazed every single day at Ella’s strength. Her sheer WILL to achieve something when she sets her mind to it. Ella doesn’t give up. She never gives up. Not only that, but she tries everything. And She tries so hard, all. The. Time.


  • The value of FRIENDSHIP – 2 parts to this one.  It’s no secret I’ve lost friends.  I lost friends after Ella was diagnosed, for the most part, through no fault of theirs or mine, just living very different lives.  I was always so busy, and to catch up you pretty much had to come to me.  But the friends I have from before I had Ella, I cling to, they have stood by me, and with me through it all, and I appreciate them so bloody much.
    But I’ve also met so many AMAZING people! Either in person or through social media. People I never would have met otherwise, people that I have nothing in common with besides our special kids, and yet we share so many of the same feelings and experiences. I’ve met some amazing adults with disabilities, and Ive learnt from every single one of these people, and I admire them all so much.


  • Having a special needs child has taught me HONESTY.  both with myself and with others.  I learnt early on I have to be honest with Ella’s care providers.  It’s no good to just put on a fake smile and say ‘good’ when they ask how everything is going. Being honest could mean a positive change in equipment, in diet, in plan. It also forces me to be honest with myself, and with everyone else. (No way would I have started a blog before all this!!) Because I feel like it’s important.


  • ORGANISATION. I’ve never been the most organised person, but you’ve gotta be organised for this gig. Paperwork upon paperwork and appointments galore!  keeping it all straight means being organised.  Not to mention Ella (and most kids with special needs) THRIVE on routine, so keeping everything straight is important for us.


  • PATIENCE.  I don’t think I was a very patient person before Ella, (in fact I’m pretty damn certain I wasn’t 😂) But I spend so much time ‘waiting’ now!  Waiting in waiting rooms still really tests my patience.  Waiting for Ella to do something can sometimes be frustrating!  I remember one stage where Ella was taking almost an hour just to get dressed in the morning – but then I look at her, how she’s excited to be doing something for herself, and I wait. (And wait… and wait… 😂)  yes, she gets frustrated sometimes and needs help, but she’s so damn proud when she achieves something that’s it’s definitely worth the wait!


  • LOVE. Ella is my first born. I will never forget the love and amazement I felt when I saw her for the first time.  I knew in that moment I would do anything for her, to keep her safe. Because in the end, diagnosis or no diagnosis, special needs or not, she’s my daughter, and I love her with everything I have.

So even on the baddest of bad days, days that Ella’s arms are bruised and marked with bite marks from self harming, days that have been nothing but yelling and tears and stress and appointments.  I’m still completely in awe of her, and I couldn’t imagine life any different.



1 thought on “What I’ve learned from my special needs child.”

  1. Ella is definitely more determined to acheive things most children just do. As you’re discovering this with Reece. I remember you saying to me, “how does he know” You were so amazed with it, he’s a genius you keep saying. How does he just do all these things with no therapies, weeks spent on teaching Ella how to do things, while Reece just does it. But if there’s any prize for determination, Ella would get 1st prize. I remember when I would pop my tongue, within a month she got it, then when l would curl my tongue, it took a while, then one day she rushed up to me and she had mastered it. This kid just doesn’t give up. No matter how long she works on it, she gets it eventually. I know there are bad days when you want to pull your hair out, scream, or punch a hole in the wall, lol, try and focus on all you’ve achieved. You’ve done so much for that little girl. You are a fucking miracle, and I am so proud to call you my daughter. Ella wouldn’t have got so far, without you as her Mother.

    Liked by 1 person

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