Diagnosis, Parenting, Special needs parenting

Down the Rabbit Hole We Go

With Ella’s behaviour spiralling out of control (which you can read about Here )  and her self harming becoming worse, after talking to her paediatrician, we have decided to try some medications to help her.  Now giving your child medications is a very personal journey so I wont be naming any specific medications, that is between Ella’s Dr and I, but I do want to share what I’ve learnt so far.
People are judgemental shits.
I’m sure any parent with a child that has ADHD, or ODD or any of the countless other behavioural difficulties probably already knew this, but this whole new world has just been opened up to me, and along with it comes hate, and judgement, and bullshit.
Behavioural medication is not a one size fits all, and most of the time there are a few options and its just a matter of trying a few and seeing what works for each individual circumstance.  So while I trust Ella’s dr, I wanted to find out some personal experiences with the med that we’ve decided to start her on.  so I googled.  and searched.

and down the rabbit hole I went

“don’t drug your child”
“have you tried cutting out sugar”
“lazy parenting”
“Discipline!”
“back in my day…” (usually followed with something regarding smacking)
“too much screen time”
“try this natural remedy”
“CBD oil CBD oil CBD oil”
and on and on it went.

Closing my web browser completely mortified, with my head spinning and feeling hot all over I started second guessing my choices, wondering if I was doing the right thing.
And you know what?  yes, I am doing the right thing for our circumstances.  I can sit here and tell you all that Ella very rarely gets screen time (true) or that she eats an all natural organic diet (totally not true) but the bottom line is it’s none of your business!
If someone asks on a special needs kids forum about a specific medication, the only time you need to respond is if you’ve used that specific medication and if it worked for you.

I don’t understand how some people can have the arrogance to think they know whats best for a child based on half a paragraph of text on a screen, that they know better than that childs parent or Dr!  Get over yourself Karen, not all of us can cut out dye number 836 and stop eating gluten on a whim.

It’s because of all this bullshit that it’s such a hard fucking choice to put your child on medication!
And then suddenly, it came to me this morning, the answer that I’ve been looking for.
If Ella had diabetes, and needed insulin because she can’t produce her own I wouldn’t be judged on that, no one would even question it!
So why does it come under so much scrutiny when your child can’t control their emotions and needs a bit of help to do so?
I think it just comes down to the fact that people don’t understand it, so they judge it.
So here we are, at the beginning of a very daunting and scary journey, the last thing we need is more judgement.   I am not ‘drugging’ my child, I am not a lazy parent, I am simply using what is needed to make MY  child’s life better – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

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