But there I was in that room, at 3:30am, instead of sleeping I sat next to Ella in that very same spot and marveled. I marveled at the room I was in, the same walls I stared at blankly for hours on end while my mind raced just 8 years ago. and I thought about when I was here last. And who I was then. The girl that doesn't exist
I looked at her perfectly round face, and her beautiful nose, with its wide bridge, her eyes, set wider apart. I looked closer at the folds in the corners of her eyes, and I looked at her cute little ear tag, I noticed her tightly held fists. I thought about all the people that commented on her cry, the woman that poked her head into Ella's pram when she was just new baby exclaiming "oh, it sounds like you have a cat in there!" Genuinely surprised to see it was my baby instead. All the jokes about how I spent too much time with my cat while I was pregnant because Ella sounds like him. This medical book, written long before Ella was born, was describing her features perfectly. The book feeling like it weighs a million tonnes on my lap, to mach the weight I felt in my heart.
With Ella's behaviour spiralling out of control and her self harming becoming worse, after talking to her paediatrician, we have decided to try medications to help her. here's what I've learnt so far. People are judgemental turds
For some new mothers, they slip into motherhood effortlessly, Toting their tiny babies around in clean prams, with perfect hair and pre-pregnancy jeans, sipping chai latte's and chatting. For me, Cafe's and Latte's got replaced with hospital canteens and cheap coffee, coffee dates turned into appoinmappo after appointment, oohing and aahing over my baby replaced by "whats wrong with her" and a thousand questions I couldn't answer.
7 years ago I was still sitting in hospital, with my tiny baby that was born 3 weeks earlier, with no answer, no hope and no idea. The drs had just started talking about genetic testing, I felt like a child, lost and alone.
Here is all you need to know about Cri Du Chat, a rare genetic disability that most people have never heard of! Cri Du Chat awareness week is coming soon, once you read this, you'll know more about it than most of the professionals I've seen!
I had to grow up, and fast. I’m no longer just a parent, I have to be so much more. I’m her voice, and her advocate. This is her diagnosis story.
Less than a month after Ella was born, she was diagnosed with cri du chat, a syndrome I could barely pronounce, let alone ever heard of. The day my life changed - this is our story When Everything changed
No one talks about the things we fail Since having Reece it's become so clear to me just how different it is with Ella, and that If I didn't have Ella first I would have no idea just how different it could be. These feelings caught me completely by surprise. It's almost like it made… Continue reading The post that spawned a blog.