What do you see in this picture?I'll tell you what I see. I see a child that's absolutely frigging proud that she'd dressed herself, so proud infact she wanted a photo after I made such a big deal if it. Usually she waits for me, and I help. I point out where the front and… Continue reading What do you see?
Ella is turning 8, and today I had an epiphany I wanted to share. Most parents have a certain sadness about their children growing up, it just happens so fast! almost like you turn around and another year has past, you look back on photos and realise your baby, is a baby no more -… Continue reading Growing Older, Not Up
I've seen that 'the last time' video floating around (If you haven't seen it, watch it here ) and it's made me think about the last time I thought it was going to be ok. For me, it's not like a breakthrough lightning strike moment. It's the little things. The moment I realized that Ella would never… Continue reading “The Last Time”
So your child has just received a diagnosis..
Welcome to the club that no one wants to be part of, but I can promise you, That this club, with all its ups and downs, is full of amazing, inspirational and strong people.
It hit me like a freight train.
It was just like any other day, nothing new or exciting, a tiny little things just just set it off.
It seems the grief is never ending, it just coming in waves.
Making the choice to send your child to a specialist school or a mainstream school is an extremely personal and sometimes controversial one, No special needs parent takes it lightly. There's so much to consider, it depends on each individual childs needs, the area you live in, what schools are available and so much more. - This post is based on my own personal experience, and is merely one opinion, and an insight into how I came to my decision.
I rage against the world as I see confusion on her perfect face.
I wish I was stronger, I want to scream, to cry, to shake them, make them understand.
To make a god damn scene.
Most nights before bedtime, I try to do some kids yoga with Ella. It's a great way for her to unwind, and also great for her balance, which she still has a lot of trouble with. Sometimes she'll even do it herself, as Ive got the photo visuals laminated on her wall!
I'm sharing this for 2 reasons,
1 - because it makes me look like a fantasic parent, and
2 - because I feel guilty that a couple of hours ago I lost my shit because Ella did not want to get dressed, which then caused a naked meltdown of epic proportions that lasted nearly an hour and ended with both of us in tears, proving I'm not, in fact, a fantastic parent, most of the time I'm pretty fucking mediocre.
Just like yoga, It's all about balance... 🤷
Physical vs emotional tiredness.
So, I have a secret - My 8 month old Doesn't Sleep, but nothing quite compares to the tiredness that comes with a special needs child.
Here's my 2am ramblings about why.
7 years ago I was still sitting in hospital, with my tiny baby that was born 3 weeks earlier, with no answer, no hope and no idea.
The drs had just started talking about genetic testing, I felt like a child, lost and alone.