So there I was on Sunday, spending 4 bloody hours, preparing my statement and uploading invoices to NDIS for this stupid tribunal, and all I could think was, this time could have been much better spent just being a parent to my kids. The fact that I have to go through this process, prove that Ella is ‘disabled enough’ to receive support that will benefit her and help her achieve her goals is both dehumanising for her, and stressful for me.
Since before he was born, I knew Reece was going to 'overtake' Ella at some point. I did kind of think it would happen all at once, but to be honest it wasn't like that at all. No lightbulb moment, just gradual things.
My sweet girl, you are growing in front of my eyes.and I'm scared. I'm so bloody scared.I'm not scared of the things that most parents worry about, I'm not scared of first dates or moving out.I'm not worried about whether you'll make good choices or get a good job.I'm not afraid of if you'll get… Continue reading Fear
I felt for her, I felt every word she said I felt it. The crushing loneliness, the feeling that no one understood, hiding bruises and bite marks from the latest meltdown. The isolation, not being able to go the the park and just sit and watch like other mothers do. Tiny things building up and getting on her nerves - like still brushing the teeth of an 14 year old, and most of all the fear of the future. Who is going to look after my child when she's gone. Who is going to understand how to handle these outbursts. In the end she did the unspeakable - the unthinkable. I put the book down and cried my eyes out. What an utterly horrible and heart-breaking story to read.
This morning I cried, quite literally, over spilled milk. Because I'm tired. And here's why that's ok.
I think about the phrase the day's are long, but the years a short, and while I most certainly agree, it feels like the last 9 years have flown by! But when I really think about it... well...
Poop... not something I enjoy dealing with to be honest, and as luck would have it Ella has had poop issues for her entire life. And she also has a tendency for 'smearing'. If you don't know what it is, it could be sensory seeking or behavioural, and its basically smearing poop. Its uncomfortable. Its… Continue reading Let’s talk about poop
I'm sure you've all seen the video of Quaden floating around, I'm not going to share it because, to be frank, it's fucking horrible.
Personally I would never be able to share a video like that of any child, I wouldn't be able to just film and not comfort my poor child. The poor boy wishing he was dead because he's being bullied endlessly at school. My heart breaks for him. No child should feel that way - NO ONE should feel that way.
That being said, I don't blame the mother AT ALL for sharing. She's obviously at her wits end, and she's started a conversation that NEEDS to be had - to be quite honest, I admire her bravery. Looking at the comment section of anywhere these videos have been shared makes me sick - grown adults bullying this mother, who is obviously struggling. They're calling her all sorts of names, all while also being mad at the children doing the bullying! It's maddening, and it's a cycle that has to stop.
It's not easy being different, and it's definitely not easy seeing your child being bullied because of those differences.
I don't even really blame the kids that are doing the bullying, because in all likelihood its learned behaviour. (Although if it were Ella being bullied, I couldn't help but be livid at the kids too!)
All of us adults sharing the hashtag #istandwithquaden isn't enough. It's the latest viral trend, and it will fade out, we will forget and move on with our lives, and this poor family will never be able to forget it.
You NEED to have the conversation with your kids!
You need to sit them down and tell them, bullying is NEVER ok.
You need to have to conversation about kids that are different.
Kids that look different, or act different.
We need to be raising our kids to welcome the differences.
We, as parents, need to DO better.
#westandwithquaden #stopthebullying #stampoutbullying #dobetter
It was my birthday, 12/12 - BIG 35! I told joel I want a special birthday this year, a full day to myself to relax, drink wine, bake, have a bath, watch movies. I was going to jam pack that day with ME TIME!
10am - I was baking scones when the phone rang. Ella's school number popped up on the screen. I hate to admit it but inwardly I groaned... I had a full day planned!!
"Ella's had a fall and chipped a tooth"
I told Joel I'd be back in an hour (Ella's school is 40ks away, about half hours drive) gave Reece a wave and off I went on what would turn out to be one of the worst days ever.
Ella is turning 8, and today I had an epiphany I wanted to share. Most parents have a certain sadness about their children growing up, it just happens so fast! almost like you turn around and another year has past, you look back on photos and realise your baby, is a baby no more -… Continue reading Growing Older, Not Up