Poop... not something I enjoy dealing with to be honest, and as luck would have it Ella has had poop issues for her entire life. And she also has a tendency for 'smearing'. If you don't know what it is, it could be sensory seeking or behavioural, and its basically smearing poop. Its uncomfortable. Its… Continue reading Let’s talk about poop
What do you see in this picture?I'll tell you what I see. I see a child that's absolutely frigging proud that she'd dressed herself, so proud infact she wanted a photo after I made such a big deal if it. Usually she waits for me, and I help. I point out where the front and… Continue reading What do you see?
Firstly - welcome to all our new friends, I'm blown away by the response I received in the last few days! Much love to everyone supporting us! 💚 Secondly - What a year!! 🥳This has probably been the most challenging year for me and my mental health, We've had so many highs and lows, but… Continue reading New Year
But there I was in that room, at 3:30am, instead of sleeping I sat next to Ella in that very same spot and marveled.
I marveled at the room I was in, the same walls I stared at blankly for hours on end while my mind raced just 8 years ago.
and I thought about when I was here last. And who I was then.
The girl that doesn't exist
And now, as I sit to write this down, they've finished their snack and are happily playing. Reece quietly doing the shape sorter that Ella still struggles with, and Ella, playing with a stuffed toy and a car thing that Reece has grown out of and it clicks.
"She's so far behind"
Ella is turning 8, and today I had an epiphany I wanted to share. Most parents have a certain sadness about their children growing up, it just happens so fast! almost like you turn around and another year has past, you look back on photos and realise your baby, is a baby no more -… Continue reading Growing Older, Not Up
I looked at her perfectly round face, and her beautiful nose, with its wide bridge, her eyes, set wider apart. I looked closer at the folds in the corners of her eyes, and I looked at her cute little ear tag, I noticed her tightly held fists. I thought about all the people that commented on her cry, the woman that poked her head into Ella's pram when she was just new baby exclaiming "oh, it sounds like you have a cat in there!" Genuinely surprised to see it was my baby instead. All the jokes about how I spent too much time with my cat while I was pregnant because Ella sounds like him.
This medical book, written long before Ella was born, was describing her features perfectly. The book feeling like it weighs a million tonnes on my lap, to mach the weight I felt in my heart.
I don't have time for a breakdown right now, But I can feel it creeping up. We've had a rough couple of weeks, Ella's behaviour has been horrible. Full meltdowns at seemingly at everything for seemingly no reason. Toilet time? Meltdown Dinner? Meltdown Time to get dressed? Meltdown Breakfast? Meltdown It gets worse - She… Continue reading Keeping it Real
So your child has just received a diagnosis..
Welcome to the club that no one wants to be part of, but I can promise you, That this club, with all its ups and downs, is full of amazing, inspirational and strong people.
Having a special needs child has been a journey unlike anything I could have imagined, there's Been the lowest of lows, but also the highest of highs. Ultimately Ella has taught me so much, and having the honour of being her mum has been so rewarding. Here's what she's taught me.