I felt for her, I felt every word she said I felt it. The crushing loneliness, the feeling that no one understood, hiding bruises and bite marks from the latest meltdown. The isolation, not being able to go the the park and just sit and watch like other mothers do. Tiny things building up and getting on her nerves - like still brushing the teeth of an 14 year old, and most of all the fear of the future. Who is going to look after my child when she's gone. Who is going to understand how to handle these outbursts. In the end she did the unspeakable - the unthinkable. I put the book down and cried my eyes out. What an utterly horrible and heart-breaking story to read.
I'm sure you've all seen the video of Quaden floating around, I'm not going to share it because, to be frank, it's fucking horrible.
Personally I would never be able to share a video like that of any child, I wouldn't be able to just film and not comfort my poor child. The poor boy wishing he was dead because he's being bullied endlessly at school. My heart breaks for him. No child should feel that way - NO ONE should feel that way.
That being said, I don't blame the mother AT ALL for sharing. She's obviously at her wits end, and she's started a conversation that NEEDS to be had - to be quite honest, I admire her bravery. Looking at the comment section of anywhere these videos have been shared makes me sick - grown adults bullying this mother, who is obviously struggling. They're calling her all sorts of names, all while also being mad at the children doing the bullying! It's maddening, and it's a cycle that has to stop.
It's not easy being different, and it's definitely not easy seeing your child being bullied because of those differences.
I don't even really blame the kids that are doing the bullying, because in all likelihood its learned behaviour. (Although if it were Ella being bullied, I couldn't help but be livid at the kids too!)
All of us adults sharing the hashtag #istandwithquaden isn't enough. It's the latest viral trend, and it will fade out, we will forget and move on with our lives, and this poor family will never be able to forget it.
You NEED to have the conversation with your kids!
You need to sit them down and tell them, bullying is NEVER ok.
You need to have to conversation about kids that are different.
Kids that look different, or act different.
We need to be raising our kids to welcome the differences.
We, as parents, need to DO better.
#westandwithquaden #stopthebullying #stampoutbullying #dobetter
What do you see in this picture?I'll tell you what I see. I see a child that's absolutely frigging proud that she'd dressed herself, so proud infact she wanted a photo after I made such a big deal if it. Usually she waits for me, and I help. I point out where the front and… Continue reading What do you see?
Firstly - welcome to all our new friends, I'm blown away by the response I received in the last few days! Much love to everyone supporting us! 💚 Secondly - What a year!! 🥳This has probably been the most challenging year for me and my mental health, We've had so many highs and lows, but… Continue reading New Year
But there I was in that room, at 3:30am, instead of sleeping I sat next to Ella in that very same spot and marveled.
I marveled at the room I was in, the same walls I stared at blankly for hours on end while my mind raced just 8 years ago.
and I thought about when I was here last. And who I was then.
The girl that doesn't exist
I felt like I was staring down the tunnel of forever, with nothing but blackness, there was no end, only darkness.
And then it happened
I was driving when it popped up on the dash
And that was it
The beginning of the end
And now, as I sit to write this down, they've finished their snack and are happily playing. Reece quietly doing the shape sorter that Ella still struggles with, and Ella, playing with a stuffed toy and a car thing that Reece has grown out of and it clicks.
"She's so far behind"
Ella is turning 8, and today I had an epiphany I wanted to share. Most parents have a certain sadness about their children growing up, it just happens so fast! almost like you turn around and another year has past, you look back on photos and realise your baby, is a baby no more -… Continue reading Growing Older, Not Up
I looked at her perfectly round face, and her beautiful nose, with its wide bridge, her eyes, set wider apart. I looked closer at the folds in the corners of her eyes, and I looked at her cute little ear tag, I noticed her tightly held fists. I thought about all the people that commented on her cry, the woman that poked her head into Ella's pram when she was just new baby exclaiming "oh, it sounds like you have a cat in there!" Genuinely surprised to see it was my baby instead. All the jokes about how I spent too much time with my cat while I was pregnant because Ella sounds like him.
This medical book, written long before Ella was born, was describing her features perfectly. The book feeling like it weighs a million tonnes on my lap, to mach the weight I felt in my heart.
I've seen that 'the last time' video floating around (If you haven't seen it, watch it here ) and it's made me think about the last time I thought it was going to be ok. For me, it's not like a breakthrough lightning strike moment. It's the little things. The moment I realized that Ella would never… Continue reading “The Last Time”